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it is in our hands.
Aug. 5th, 2009 | 03:36 am
mood: 
determined
I got to see a different side of him, and it makes me love that of him even more.
Whatever i thought of him, being cold and cool, i was wrong. The surface cracks and reveals an entire different world.
Filled with warmth & a loving heart.
It moves me to see him love kids that much.
It's like reading a book. The cover or the title may not look much. Then the prologue brings forth interests, with the phrases of appraisal of certain famous newspapers or authors. It's the reading; page by page that brings more excitement, fear & anticipation. The end doesn't matter. It is the journey that gives the experience.
And i'm enjoying every bit of this novel of us.
"It is our attitude at the begining of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will determine its successful outcome." - WIlliam James
Saw the above quote in the bus. I cannot agree more.
Often, i find myself self encouraging, no matter how hard the task. Be driven, and you will have the energy to lead you through the hardest waves.
Most of the things or decisions or even the hardest challenges, actually lies in our hands. How we choose to make turns or proceed, it affects the outcome.
As much as other matters are the way they are - fate, we are the ones we have our hands behind the wheel, and it's up to ourselves whichever route we choose to take.
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my longhair-ed thang.
Aug. 1st, 2009 | 02:15 am
always though people displaying affection in public's a put-off.
but its something we totally did at mos burger today. even had loads of stares.
but guess what, i did not care one bit.
we had our first mini coldwar/fight today. over the hickey-reaction from colleagues.
man, why do i still feel his kisses even when i'm typing all this right now.
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to live love life.
Jul. 25th, 2009 | 01:33 am
music: wale feat gaga - chillin
one thing that happened today that got me really happy. something simple, something easy.
i got my specs adjusted.
and i'm so grateful to the girl who did it. all it took was a few short minutes of heating and twisting.
it fits so fine, it hooks on right.
to be simply happy just by the small joys of life. so adjusted till it doesn't slip. i really love it.
it really isn't easy, to try to conceal from the 'public' eye that we are together.
1stly, we cannot do anything, we cannot talk too closely, or whatsoever.
i really had no idea things would be this hard.
but then as Jo said, this is something so many people wants.
'a relationship that happened with both parties having mutual feelings for each other'.
thank you.
it's just like a dream, so surreal, and it makes me so happy everytime i think of it.
when i look at his face, an overwhelming rush of emotion fills me.
he's mine. not mine MINE, but mine! geddit?!
i don't think i've been so happy for so many days in a row. and i'm certain as long as things flow, the happiness will linger. as long as i do my best to make things work.
i really had no idea love works this way,
and it's so darn good to be alive to actually have a taste of this.
but then i'm looking at things with fear, & anticipation.
my advice to all: Leap. You may tumble along the way. But the result may just surprise you.
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China, Beijing
Jul. 20th, 2009 | 09:18 am
finally back home, really feel so relieved. as much fun as it was, BJG felt so much like a distant and strange land.
i'm currently recovering from fever, so glad it's just that and nothing more.
so much has happened in BJG. i'm glad i went cuz my status changed, i've been 'unsingled'!
but then i have to see for myself if this is real, cuz we haven't seen each other since my departure.
my mom mentioned, with my kinda look and tomboyish behavior, nobody would like me. in your face momma! hahah.
and she mentioned, if this is real, all her 3kids are in relationships with people from different countries.
one HK, one Taiwan, one M'sia. so international.
Hahahah! That was so hilarious that she even mentioned!
as for the BJG trip, i really felt like i've learnt alot. Like what Chih Cheong said, "just do it". i strongly agree. if we never take risks and try on things, the regret would come. most would be fearful that if they tried on things, if it doesn't turn out well, they will regret; that's why they are always on the safe side, at the same place;due to the refusal to leap.
I leaped. i did things that crossed my line, but it was an experience. Had to do an extreme 'blowjob' on camera, which will definitely be showed on TV, around early 2010?
When i completed my final exam(the reason why i was there), i felt a rush of adrenalin, and a feeling of gratitude for being given the chance, and slight satisfaction.
this was a once in a lifetime experience, and i'm so glad i took the challenge.
thank you, whoever has aided or encouraged me along the way.
i really appreciated it.
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TO.
Jul. 5th, 2009 | 01:27 am
music: David Archuleta - Barriers.
as an informal translation of what was said by Randy Paush in his book - do ask, cuz you may just be surprised by the outcome'
meaning to not hold back; ask, request. Holding back with the fear of rejection only leaves at the same position, the same ground.
but if the courage comes, and we break the wall around ourselves; we may just be entirely taken back that good things came out of it.
to try, and to do. that's what i am doing now.
would soon be filming in China. I mean, MJ, in a TV show? thats really something i've never imagine me really doing. but with Chef Yong believing in me and the help of Chef Heng for the casting, i felt myself come up with no rejections of doing it.
My goal is to learn, and to experience. Isn't that what's life about? especially at this phase of life. we're all going places!
i realised, all the while thinking he's the one with the wall built around him, it turned out that i was the one stuck in the room. i was afraid of rejection, and even assumed that there was just no chemistry.
i was so wrong.
chemistry can be made, it can be created just from a tiny spark. easily, it is to DO. to reach out, to let go of the inhibitions within us.
to be at ease, to be relaxed around him. to talk.
and,
to have eye contact. this is a fact that i cannot emphasize more.
the connection can be felt when the eye contact is right.
whether or not anything turns out from this thing i think i'm feeling; may it be just a teasing&flirting phase, or just a sisterlybrotherly fun, i'm glad things turned out like this - being friends.
to plan and to be precise.
i did well for friday. it was one of those 'crazy' fridays, this with an 100 packs outdoor event to handle and loads of prior bookings indoor.
i orchestrated. i managed. as much as i was shouting my guts out, & that everything was in such a crazymindnumbing mess, i was in control. i remembered the orders to the tables. i was confident, i was driven, i was wellprepared.
to have a clear mind during times like such is crucial.
but, i had help. without her help, i wouldn't have prepped so well.
without his help, i wouldn't have been able to be able to look at the order sheets.
without SusurLee-wannabe's aid for outdoor, MAN it would've been chaotic.
but i like how we worked together and discussed.
never imagine that. glad it really made my day a darn great one!
life, is great at this phase. live, and living!